Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Nice guys and midlife reflection

I've almost turned this blog into a notepad for poem development. I hope it hasn't chased away the poetry phobics among us, but I have been feeling fairly prolific lately. And no, Dave P., it has nothing to do with the career change, which has become another longwinded conversation I am going to withhold for now.

I think I am going through one of those mini midlife crises that occur every few years. They seem to coincide with the darkness, or the impending winter. I loathe cold weather. I complain a lot - no doubt annoying the hell out of everyone around me. I also miss Indiana, on some absurd level, and my family, as crazy as we are.

Last night we had dinner with a friend of Rick's. He is one of those "good guys," the brotherly guy who will change your tire or open the door for you. I like that. Too many men confuse feminism with women wanting to be treated like a buddy. Rather, we just want you to be a decent human. And a woman's definition of decent includes hugging a friend when they need it, opening the door for someone, being there to listen.

For some unfortunate reason, these qualities have been assigned exclusively to women. Fact is, some of the best listeners I know are men.

Getting back to Rick's friend. He is really polite. I have no idea what sort of guy he really is, nor do I care. I can live with the fact that no man or woman is perfect. Yes, perhaps the door opening and respectful listening comes with an agenda. Does that matter?

I am not sure it does.

There's an AA saying that goes, "Fake it til you make it." I think this applies to men trying to navigate the world of women. Okay, so you don't know what every woman wants. You never can know that because none of us want the same thing. There is no game, no prize. Some of us want commitment, but not all of us. Some us may surprise you with our lust. Some of us are damaged, or fragile, or stronger than you once thought.

Point being, and a point made by Rick's buddy last night, coincidently, at the end of the line there is just you and how you treated people (and the world) around you.

My advice - Open the door for her.

So you want to sleep with her. Who's to say she isn't thinking the same thing.


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home