Tuesday, March 08, 2005


Confession is always weakness. The grave soul keeps its own secrets, and
takes its own punishment in silence. ~ Dorothy Dix

I have a new friend who maintains personal information to the point of pathology. In fact, maybe this person cannot be called a friend because he is unable to share any personal information.

This post isn't about him, though. His secretiveness has me thinking about people I've met who are enshrouded in mystery, either intentionally or subconsciously.

I know those who have chosen to maintain a level of standoffishness to protect themselves from vulnerability. (I know lots of these) There are those who choose silence for fear of not living up to other people's expectations of them - in the cool department. Those who remain aloof to appear knowledgeable, for example.

Then there are those pesky souls who are coy because they enjoy the game of appearing as such, and being vague gives them an imagined power over others. I'm not even sure if it's intentional - I've known a lot of guys, in particular, who use this as their MO. Maybe because they don't want to have layers or want others to know they have layers.

I've always been brutally honest when asked about myself. I reveal anything, so long as it is the truth. My honesty policy is both hurtful and rewarding. Sometimes when information is in the hands of the pugilstic or untrustworthy, it can be dangerous. Still, the beauty of being completely honest is in the fact that there is no one to hide from, so there is no chance of emotional or literal blackmail.

There were times in my life when I wasn't always this open - and some topics are more difficult to discuss than others. Being honest doesn't mean randomly telling people personal information, but it does mean answering questions without reservation, hesitation or trepidation. (That sounds like a mantra).

I recognize that we still have social mores, odd and unjust value systems, etc... However, I think the popularity of reality shows (and blogging) attests to the fact that people are desperate for the real and unabashed truth. So why are we still insisting upon living vicariously through someone else's truth?

I'm curious why some people cannot answer questions about themselves. Why it is so hard for people to be comfortable with their own answers, and the response of another?


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